Make Me Forget
by xana4
Summary: "So you don't feel him, anymore? You don't feel his hands on you? You don't feel his smell on your skin? You don't feel his lips on yours? Is that what you're saying?" When everything else seems to fail her, he's there. He's always there...


It comes with the job, or so they say.

She used to believe that because the truth is that they are forced to do many things while at work that they would never even consider doing outside of it. Kensi has her fair share of experience when it comes to that. The worst thing anyone can make her do is flirt with a suspect. The thought of having his dirty hands on her makes her sick, makes her want to kick him where it hurts and make sure he never touches another woman in his life.

There are men who simply shouldn't be allowed to have any means to procreate, in her opinion. So, no matter how much they tell her it comes with the job and that she has to get through it, this guy's hands on her make her want punch him so hard his nose would never be the same again.

Thankfully, the whole thing seems to be over even before it starts as the guys come and give her a hand.

She didn't need their help. She just needed their permission to start punching her way through that scumbag.

Kensi is used to be the only girl on the team. She can deal with it quite well. In fact, she can deal with it because the truth is that she's not good with girls. She's not good with pretending she can spend an entire afternoon talking about clothes and makeup. So she hangs out with the guys, most afternoons.

But sometimes it would be good to have a girlfriend to talk to.

The guys don't understand this.

They can't.

They don't know how dirty she feels just because she can still remember his touch, just because his smell is still surrounding her.

She considers talking to Nell about it because the other girl is starting to become the closest thing she has to a friend but that idea is quickly scratched from her mind. She doesn't need to be traumatized more than what she already is while working here.

She doesn't need to hear Kensi talk about how wrong it feels when a guy touches her, how badly she wants to get in the bathtub and stay there until she can't feel him anymore.

Kensi finishes her paperwork in record time so she can go home. She doesn't know why but she needs to be home right now. She needs to be in a place where she's in control, a place where she will be able to surround herself with things that will make her forget the hard night she had.

She can't show that side of her to the guys. It took her a while to show them she's as good as they are in this line of work. She can't throw all that away just because she's taking things a little bit harder today.

That's not how it works.

So she grabs her things, bids them goodnight and thanks God that Deeks has his own car today and doesn't need a ride home. The brunette agent gets in the car and drives home.

Once there, she gets in and takes all her clothes off.

Kensi doesn't lock the door.

She knows he will come tonight. He always does whenever he knows she's having a hard day.

It's kind of an unspoken agreement, one no one knows about but them. Well, maybe Hetty knows too but Hetty knows everything. She goes to his house when she knows he might need a friend to just sit around and feel less alone. He comes to her house when he knows she needs beer and ice cream to get over the day.

Kensi is not sure ice cream and beer will do the trick this time but she's not strong enough to break tradition. She will pretend it helped a lot and he will leave after two or three hours, just like he always does. They're friends and that's what friends do.

Well, lately the word lovers would be more accurate to describe them but she doesn't want to give that much thought at the moment.

Kensi takes a shower and allows the warm water to wash away the tension in her muscles.

No amount of body-wash is enough to make her forget about the way he touched her so she doesn't even try.

It will go away.

It always goes away. Thankfully, this feeling doesn't last forever. In about a week, she won't even remember it anymore. And the nightmares only come once in a while.

She can deal with this.

She can deal with anything.

Kensi puts her clothes on and is not surprised to find ice cream and beer on top of her kitchen counter when she walks out of the bathroom.

She grabs two spoons and walks to her living room.

Callen takes a spoon and she sits next to him. They don't talk for a while. They just sit there eating ice cream and watching some crappy television show. He's the one who breaks the silence and that doesn't surprise her either. However, his words do. "You don't have to do that."

Kensi frowns. "What are you talking about?"

Callen looks at her, his piercing gaze so strong she feels he can see her soul. "You don't have to pretend it doesn't bother you. We won't respect you any less for it."

She shrugs and turns to the TV, hoping he won't be able to see the lie in her eyes if she does. "I'm okay."

She can see him nod through the corner of her eye but he doesn't give up. In the end, Callen is just as stubborn as she is. "So you don't feel him, anymore? You don't feel his hands on you? You don't feel his smell on your skin? You don't feel his lips on yours? Is that what you're saying?"

Kensi doesn't move. She's frozen for a while, looking at the TV but not really seeing anything.

It's only when Callen scoots as close to her as he can and lays a hand on her back that she seems to snap out of her trance. A tear escapes her eye and his next words are a whisper, a way to soothe her. "I'm not going to judge you if you tell me the truth. Tell me, Kensi. Talk to me."

She takes a deep breath and turns to him, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "His hand was warm but his fingers were rough. He squeezed my thigh and his fingernails scratched me a bit. His cheap perfume is all over my skin and I can't get it out, no matter how much I try to. He tasted like smoke and alcohol and I can still feel his lips on mine. I don't want to feel this. I don't want to feel him. I hate this part of the job. Help me, Callen."

And he does, because seeing her this broken is more than what he can handle. He leans in and she seems unsure for a second so he reassures her. "I'm going to help you, Kenz. Trust me."

Kensi nods and allows him to do anything he wants to. So he closes the gap between them and connects their lips.

She doesn't taste like alcohol or smoke. She tastes like peppermint but he gets why she seems to think otherwise.

It's not their first kiss. In fact, it's far from it. But this time it's different. He's washing away her pain. She starts kissing him back after a few seconds and he doesn't stop his actions.

He pushes her onto the couch until she's lying and he's on top of her. Callen buries his face in her neck and kisses every inch of skin he can find, trying to make her forget about that vile man who dared to touch her.

At this point, he's not sure if he's doing this for him or for her because he needs to erase this night from his mind too. He needs to forget about what he heard when the man kissed her, needs to forget the image of his hand on her leg.

In the end, it doesn't really matter who he's doing it for because she doesn't complain.

In fact, she lets out a moan when he finds her sweet spot and he can't help himself. He brands her.

She has this stupid rule that says he can do whatever he wants to her as long as he doesn't leave a mark. Yes, they have rules because after the fifth morning they woke up naked in her bed they figured they couldn't stop this.

But tonight is not a normal night. Tonight he needs to make her his, even if just for a few hours.

Kensi doesn't complain but speaks, her voice slightly shaky. "Touch my leg, Callen. Please, touch my leg."

It's not a weird request and he understands what she wants as soon as she says it.

But he doesn't do it. Instead, he takes all her clothes off. He only stops when she's not wearing anything but her underwear.

Kensi takes his shirt off and kisses his chest before pleading with him once again. "Touch my leg, Callen. Take him off of me."

Callen gets up and grabs her hands. She allows him to push her up and to guide her to her bedroom. They've had sex on her couch plenty of times before but tonight is not any other night. He sits on her bed and makes her stand in front of him, his head facing her stomach.

His hands are on her waist to keep her steady while he kisses her upper body, or at least every inch he can get to. She's holding onto his shoulders, moaning softly at his touch. It's only after he covered her entire upper-body with his kisses and after removing her bra that he does what she wants. He touches her thigh, where she can still feel the other guy's hand. There's a small scratch on it, so small he wouldn't see it if she hadn't told him about it earlier. Deciding that maybe his hand is not enough, he proceeds to kiss her thigh, dropping to his knees in front of her just so he can cover her entire upper-thigh with kisses.

She's moaning, her eyes closed and her head slightly thrown back. A small smile graces her lips and he knows he succeeded. He knows she can't feel the other man on her anymore. Right now, he's all she can feel. Callen ends their torture after a few minutes. He gets on top of her, on the bed, and enters her with a slow gentle move.

By now, he has lost count of how many times they've had sex before. But he's aware this is not sex. The way he moves, the way he touches her, the way he kisses her and whispers her name against her lips…he's not just having sex with her. He's making love to her and nothing has ever felt this good, this right.

Afterwards, with the woman who means more than what words can express in his arms, he feels peaceful. And he knows he managed to erase the other guy's touch from her mind.

Their job is not easy and there will always be difficult operations. But they're both starting to realize none of that matters as long as they have something to come home for. And, as long as they have each other, they can help each other erase the bad days.

It's not a relationship (yet) but it's something. It's comfort.

It's perfect for them, for the ones who don't do commitment.

It's just what they need.

It's just right!


End file.
